I am so totally having second thoughts about this whole thing. To be completely honest I'm not really sure I can handle going through this whole process again. I mean with Elise we got her at 16 and had so many struggles. The lies, manipulation, and total emotional roller coaster! I just don't think I can take it again. After all our entire life will change. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what I want anymore. My husband agreed to Adoption because he wants to make me happy. He likes it just being us. I like it this way too but part of me just always wanted to have a house full of kids but I really don't think I can handle it.
I know this is the rantings of a mad woman and I am just feeling stress right now but I honestly don't think we should go through with the adoption process any longer.
I really need prayer.. We have a huge decission to make and we need to make it soon, as we are about to have to move and if we do I want to find a place that is cheaper which will mean smaller. I also have to find a place that will allow my dog and at least one of my cats.
Well any way I guess I just need to pray and sleep on it.
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