HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

It's that time of year again when all the ghosts and goblins apear. The time when the fall is beginning to be celebrated!
Today is the day when people all over the world take the opportunity to become someone else.
This is the one day a year that people can dress up and not be considered screwed up in the head.

People take their children Trick or Treating, and some (like me) thake their dogs. It is a time to have fun and a time to remember the dead.
In many other cultures that is what Halloween was all about. Tomorrow is All Saints Day, thus today has been called for many years All Hallow's Eve. Now i'm going going to give a lesson on the history of Halloween but I think over the years it has gotten a bad rap. The "church" has made it all about satan and evil and it was never meant to be that way.

I think that we should just leave tradition alone! That is what is wrong with people today. No sense of tradition.
People don't take the time anymore to establish traditions with in their own homes and family's .

It is good for our children to have traditions and even to start new traditions with our children in mind or to allow us to start them with our children. It gives them a sense of belonging and family. It helps to bond the family unit. And if you begin the tradition before the kids are born or when they are very small then you have given them a sense of something greater.

Families today are failing to bring responsibe adults into this world. We are failling our children! They are killing each other and their parents! If we could just teach the next generation about values...the value of human life and the value of family, our country would be a much better place to live.

WOW I was really on my soap box there.

Okay well this has been quite a rant, so for now I'll close... keep checking back on baby progress! We are so excited about our Little Bean!
~G~

Week 7...........

Week Seven
Elbows form - Again, taking a peek inside you could see your baby's fascination with bending and flexing. Later you will swear you can enlist your child as the star of the next "Karate Kid" movie!

Fingers start to develop - These digits often become your baby's first toy!
Feet start to appear with tiny notches for the toes - It is fascinating that at less than a half inch, your little guy (or gal) already is leaving "footprints" on your heart!

Ears eyes and nose start to appear - Although they may resemble an alien life form, these all "shift" soon enough into a more normal appearance.

Intestines start to form in the umbilical cord - Did you know that initially the intestines are not formed inside your baby's body?

Teeth begin to develop under the gums - Thankfully, right now you won't be dealing with teething pain!

Our baby is growing!!! I'm soo excited! I can't wait to hold our Little Bean in my arms. but i have to wait until June.

A Rant........

I can't stand users! There are so many people in this world who are only out there to get what they can for themsleves. If there is nothing in it for them they are not interested. Life would be so much better for us all if these so called people would just drop dead.

It is amazing how a "person" can allow themselves to be used by such a type as this. These are sub human idiots who have no respect for human life and care only for themselves. They want all your time, money and energy and give nothing in return.

Line them all up and shoot them in the mother fucking head! They deserve sub human treatment due to the shear fact that they cannot treat others with respect.
I am tired of people who call at 2am just to wake you up and bullshit.
I know that sometime there are emergencies in which it is necessary to call someone in the middle of the night. But to call a phone that does not belong to the person you are trying to reach and waking others up just to talk to someone about nothing is uncalled for.

Last night these such events took place here. I wanted to kill this person for calling 6 times between 1 and 2 am. What a bunch of bull shit!

Week 6.....

We are coming into week six! This is what our Little Bean should be looking like at this stage!

We are so very exctied as now the baby can hear our voices and the music we play for him/her.

As I stated previously Amy and I have been friends since we were about 7 and are extremely close to one another. I believe I've been having some sympathy symptoms for her. ( kinda odd).

I've been getting her morning sickness for the last few days. :) I don't mind really. I love the fact that we are doing this together.

Ernie and I have been arguing over weather or not Little Bean will be a boy or a girl. We are keeping the names we have chosen a secret until later.

As far as being in San Antonio goes I do love it and am looking forward to the rest of my little family joining me in December.

Ernie is coming down the first week of November to help me secure an apartment for the 3 of us. Then when Little Bean is born if we feel the need to move to a bigger place we will.

We probably won't need to until after the baby is about 9months or so. But we may go ahead and get a 3bed room just incase.

We have decided to to the Nursery in CareBears! Amy and I love CareBears and the things of the 80's so we are going retro with our nursery!

Well I guess that is all for today...

~G~

FINALLY!!

I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY!

Amy my best friend since I was 7 and I are having a baby! Well She's actually the one who's preganant but it will be OUR baby. We are going to raise it here in San Antonio together.
She will live with Ernie and I and Ernie will be daddy and our Little Bean (stole that from Katrina btw) will have too mommies and a daddy!

No not the traditional family, but who cares? I sure don't! We are very excited and Today makes 5 weeks on the Lunar calendar and 3 weeks gestation. Our Little Bean gets a brain, skin, eyes and sex organs this week!

Stay tuned for weekly updates as a soon to be mommy I am going to be blogging alot about this baby.
Amy is doing okay except for the morning sickness that seems to last most of the day. Ernie is teasing about there being twins... oh man then we'd have two beans in a pod... wait that's two peas!! !lol :)

Anyway we are happy and looking forward to being one big happy family.

~G~
Little Beans Momma

You've Got Another Thing Comin.....

I was sitting here thinking of all the Shit I have put up with over the years.

I have decided that if people think I am going to sit back and take all the crap they better think again.
I am tired of being told that they way I think is wrong and that the fact that I Love the way I do is not right. I don't want to be told that I can not be sad if I want to or I can't be overly excited when I feel that way.
I am tired of being told that liking to have a drink or a smoke is going to send me to hell. I am tired of the hipocrites that attend churches today.

I just have no desire for "organized religion". The funny thing is, that I used to scoff at people who said that. Go figure.

I used to be a leader and then I became a follower and if you think I'm going to continue being a sheep You've Got Another Thing Coming!

I am no longer going to keep my opinions to myself. I am not going to be this docile person afraid of hurting someones feelings. I no longer want to be the person who just sits back and lets her family run her life.

I am a thousand miles from home and loving it. I love the freedom I have to not have to get premission to come and go as I please. I don't have to answer to anyone and I can be me.

I have made the nessecary changes within me to be complete. Now as long as I can be with the one I love i'll be happy for all time.

~G~

Yesterday my Grandparents saw their 50th Wedding anniversary. I honestly can not imagine being married for that long. I mean there used to be but at this moment in my life there is not no possible way.
My family is trying to convince me to move back to Oklahoma and, there is no way that is happening. They have to realize that I have to start living my own life and not according to what they want.

I am tired of living for everyone else. I am almost 30 freaking years old and for the last 10 years i've lived according to how my Grandparents and my husband have expected me to live...

Well.............

NO MORE:

BEING THE GOOD CHILD
ALWAYS DOING THE RIGHT THING
BEING NICE
QUIETLY ACCEPTING DEFEAT IN A FIGHT
BEING PASSIVE
HIDING THE REAL ME BY LYING ABOUT WHO I AM
HIDING MY REAL FEELINGS
KEEPING MY OPINIONS TO MYSELF
ALLOWING OTHER PEOPLE DICTATE HOW I THINK


I have allowed all of these things to happen in my daily life for 10 long years and I have lost sight of who I am deep down inside.

WHO I AM:

I AM A DARK PERSON
I LIKE SEX
I AM VERY SENSUAL AND EROTIC
I LIKE TO SMOKE
I LIKE TO DRINK
I PREFER THE NIGHT TO THE DAY
I LOVE ALL THINGS VAMPIRIC
I LOVE HEAVY METAL MUSIC
I AM GOTHIC DEEP DOWN INSIDE
I BELIEVE IN FATE
I BELIEVE WE CREATE OUR OWN HISTORY
I BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
I BELIEVE IN SOUL MATES
I BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE TO LOVE SOMEONE AND NOT BE IN LOVE WITH THEM
I BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE TO LOVE TWO MEN AT THE SAME TIME
I BELIEVE THAT BEING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE CAN EITHER MAKE US A BETTER PERSON OR ROCK US TO THE CORE WITH DISTRUCTION
I BELIEVE THAT TRUTH IS JUST A POINT OF VIEW
I KNOW THAT IF SOMEONE YOU LOVE LEAVES YOU AND YOU LOOK HARD ENOUGH YOU CAN FIND THEM AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT.
I WANT CHILDREN
I WANT TO LIVE IN TEXAS AND NOT OKLAHOMA
I WANT TO BE LOVED SO MUCH THAT THE MAN I LOVE WILL NEVER BETRAY ME FOR ANY REASON MUCH LESS SELFISH REASONS.
I LIKE TO BE IN CONTROL
I LIKE POWER
I LIKE TO FEEL POWERFUL
I HAVE ALWAYS HAD AN INTEREST IN WICCA BUT NEVER TRIED TO LIVE BY THE WAYS.
I BELIEVE IN GOD
I BELIEVE THAT I WILL BE PUNISHED FOR THE DECISIONS I'VE MADE BUT THAT THEY ARE MINE TO MAKE AND SO BE THE PUNISHMENT.
I LOVE MY PETS
I LOVE MY COMPUTER~
I DO LOVE MY FAMILY I JUST NEED A BREAK

I came to San Antonio to figure out what i want from life and how I can make life work for me.
I am slowly becoming to realise that all it takes is me standing up for myself.