T'was the Week Before Christmas....

With dishes in the sink and a dirty little kiddo running amok I sit to right and listen to Spotify because my foot is hurting and it's raining so I needed a time out. I've got the back door open and it's nice a cool in the house in fact it's getting quite chilly but I figure it can't hurt right now as I'm about to have to oven going.

You see the week before Christmas is always bustling with activity. Cleaning and organizing, baking and menu tweaking. I've got so much going on! I've got other people cooking but it was funny how one person said..." If we cook vegetables to bring over they will be cold by the time we get there." They live 5 mins from me. So I just said well bring them and I'll cook them! What the crap?! I thought the whole point of sharing the responsibility of cooking on Christmas was so that I didn't end up doing it all! Oh Well! It wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last that I do it all!

NikiRhe decided she needed a snack and I've yet to figure out what I want to make for dinner if I even want to make dinner. She is sitting at the table with a dry erase marker, her elmo counting place-mat and a piece of pizza. I love this girl! It's so much more fun to plan Christmas with her in our lives! I'm so happy being her mommy. Now if I could just become better at the domestic part of being a stay at home mom I'd have it made! :o)

So we've got about one dozen peanut butter cookies to finish baking today and then will bake more for "Santa" this weekend. "Wifey" Barb is coming home and maybe bringing Misty with her so we will have at least two extra people here for the 3 days before Christmas. I am so blessed and I know it!

 We are so thankful and grateful to God for our little family.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas....

For years I didn't really look forward to Christmas. It was just Ernie and I and we normally got up and traveled to either my father's or my Grandparents house on Christmas morning and if we went to my Grandparents I cooked. Now don't get me wrong I enjoyed Christmas but something always felt missing and melancholy about the holiday season for me.
As the years went by and we still had no children of our own I would try my hardest to look forward to Christmas. I searched for the joy in serving others and in finding something my husband would like. Let me tell you, that man is NOT easy to buy for! :) Anytime you ask him what he wants for Christmas or a birthday he says " I don't need anything." Do you know how frustrating this is to hear EVERY year for 15 years?!? LOL

In December 2009 that all changed. My world was turned upside down in a way that I would never change. Our beautiful Daughter was born and she has kept us busy every single day since. That first Christmas with her at home was COLD and quiet. She was 21 days old and we had a literal blizzard. We were snowed into our neighborhood. We spent Christmas day just holding her and singing chirstmas carols to her and reading Christmas books and thanking God for our tremendous blessing.

Christmas 2010 was wonderful! We got to actually buy Christmas gifts for her and watch her open them with some confusion and then excitement. My joy in the meaning of Christmas had returned that previous year and I was so excited to see Christmas coming. Of course with her birthday being 21 day's before Christmas it's a very busy month!  But I was beyond excited.

Today, I find myself most certainly looking forward to celebrating Christmas with my wonderful little family. We started a new tradition last year of having Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and allowing NikiRhe to open her gifts from her grandparents that night so they can be here to see her open them. Then on Christmas Morning we make coffee and hot cocoa and sausage balls and open presents and spend the day listening to Christmas music and playing with NikiRhe and her gifts. Also something I'm looking forward to is letting Niki help me choose a gift for her daddy, wrap it and place it under the tree. I think this will be an annual tradition. He is taking her to choose a gift for me as well and it will be fun for her as she gets older, and she will be able to choose a gift on her own soon enough.
I am looking forward to teaching her all about why we celebrate the birth of Christ and even why we celebrate it in the winter instead of around March when the birth actually happened.
Well we've got errands to run today so I'm off to get it taken care of.

Time ...

Blogging has not been in the forefront of my mind as of late. I've had a lot going on at home and health wise and therefore not focused on doing this kind of thing.

I'm frustrated a lot and I'm trying to keep from feeling that life is a total and complete failure. I'm going to do my best to keep on keeping on but it seems to be a struggle.

I don't have much patients for immature, whiny people these days. I don't care for fakeness (if that's even a word), either. I'm just doing what I can to get by.

Well my determination is going to kick in soon because I'm a typical scorpio who doesn't give up or back down. I fight for my territory and my family and I don't put up with users, abusers, losers, moochers, liars or much else for that matter.

I can feel my determination rising more and more today than ever. I guess because when you get fed up you are truly fed up!

Oy Vey... I guess a good rant was needed.

Love my child, husband and family. We are doing the best we can and as the great Art Williams say's ...All you can do, is all you can do, but all you can do is enough!

Making Simple Adjustments and Expelling Worry..

There are things we all have to adjust to. We have to adjust when a new baby is born into our homes. We adjust when Grandma comes for an extended visit. We adjust to new situations each day. Our problem with adjustment is WORRY. 

Worry often comes for very good reason, however most cases we cause ourselves unneeded health problems, stress, illness and so much more. Let's see what God's word says about worry.

                                       Matthew 6 25-34

                                        New International Version (NIV)

                                                                       Do Not Worry

    ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?

 ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

 ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?

 ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow.

They do not labor or spin.

 ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

 ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

 ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or

 ‘What shall we wear?’

 ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly 

Father knows that you need them.

 ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, 

and all these things will be given to you as well.

 ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. 

Each day has enough trouble of its own

What is the point of worry? NOTHING! Our Father G-d Clearly wants us to trust in him for all our needs and he will provide. We are not to worry about tomorrow period! We are to SEEK G-d's kingdom. 

So let's allow G-d to "worry" about our adjustments, our finances, feeding our families, our clothing, and whatever else is keeping us from functioning fully in His will. 

When we are taking these on ourselves we are not able to be 100% for the Kingdom or our families! 

Many Blessings, 

Mrs. G

Welcome Liz and My Baby is So Smart!

Welcome to the family seems a little cheezy to say but I guess would be a sentiment that is appropriate. Having someone in the house that shares my likes and dislikes it always fun! LOL

We've been teaching NikiRhe Hebrew! She's learning so fast! It is so much fun to listen to my little girl learn and develop more each day. Some days we struggle of course, and yesterday was one of those. My emotions got the better of me. But this morning I feel a bit better.

I'm mostly just tired. My little one is so needy right now and it's difficult not to get frustrated when she is crying for several hours at a time. Thankfully I've got an extra pair of hands right now to help me when she's difficult.

Well I'm going to go up and snuggle with my little princess until time to rouse the house.

Wow People are so Quick to Judge!

The last time I checked I was and adult who is more than capable of determining when I'm being told the truth!
I don't care for people who assume that they should just tell me that I'm making the wrong decision when they don't even know what is truly going on in my life.

It's wrong of anyone so assume that just because you read a few blog posts or a few facebook statuses that you KNOW me if you've never met me in person or spent time with me in the last 15 years. I'm a completely different person than I was 15 years ago, I'm married to the mad God intended me to be married to. I share my heart with a few special people in my life and just because you've READ some things I've said doesn't mean you KNOW me.

Don't assume I can't see for myself if I'm being deceived, lied too, or swindled. Isn't it my mistake to make? Isn't it my life to live? Is it not my responsibility to listen to God when he guides me?
Do not think for a moment that we as a family do not go to the Creator FIRST in all our decisions. We KNOW how to seek His will.

Thank you for your concern but we are capable of choosing how and when to expand our family.

Getting Ready to Welcome Liz to Oklahoma

We have been working this weekend to get the house ready for Liz to come to Tulsa!
We are excited to have her coming to stay with us.

Life is going to get a little crazy for a bit, however we are going to enjoy each and every moment.
Lord, Thank you for Liz and her love, kindness, and willingness to come to this crazy household and be a part of the family and be a student and start a new life.
We praise you Lord, for all  you have done and will do for this family! In Jesus name ~Amen~

Feeling as if we will never get ahead

I know it's normal to struggle with finances when someone changes careers but OMG I forgot what it was like for my husband to work 12-14hour days and the paychecks not be what I felt they should be because of taxes.
We are taxed to death! man oh man, will we EVER get ahead? With one car it's almost impossible for me to work outside my home and what I love to do suffers because it requires me meeting with families one on one.
I guess I could start setting appointments at MY kitchen table and offering refreshments or something!
All I know for sure is that God will provide if we ask him too. We had ONE too many items coming out of our money and this is what happens when I don't pay attention. UGH...Oh well the LORD WILL see us through!

Getting Ready to Welcome Daddy Home!

Niki and I have struggled through the last 13 days as we have been unable to have restful sleep, she is very clingy with severe separation anxiety and we miss Ernie! I am determined to get a few more things accomplished before he gets home tomorrow but my "nanny" took the night off and will not be back until sometime tomorrow.. She said first thing in the morning but she won't get up very early and by the time she gets here it will be close to noon. So I'm going to do what I can with a fussy, clingy, child and then run the errands that HAVE to be run before going to the airport tomorrow night @ 9:30.

I can't believe it.. she just showed up!!!

Well she is still up and we really should go to bed. My right shoulder is killing me and she is starting to melt down... so it's good night for us!


Lord Give him a safe journey home.
~G~

Learning the true meaning of Titus 2

 ¹ But you must speak what is consistent with sound teaching. ² Older men are to be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. ³ In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. [They are] to teach what is good, ⁴ so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be sensible, pure, good homemakers, and submissive to their husbands, so that God's message will not be slandered.


As I read this passage I first thought, "Wow! How much responsibility that is to be responsible to the young women in my life to be able to teach them how to be good at all those things." Then it dawned on me. If I am living this life, being Biblically submissive to my husband, being a good homemaker and loving my husband and children then it should not be so hard. 

    ⁶ Likewise, encourage the young men to be sensible ⁷ about everything. Set an example of good works yourself, with integrity and dignity ^[a] in your teaching. ⁸ Your message is to be sound beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be ashamed, having nothing bad to say about us.

I was always told growing up that I should be careful of the friends I choose and the activities I participate in because it reflected back to my grandparents (they were raising me). I never understood this until we had teenagers in our home. Now I truly understand that regardless of what is instructed about being judgmental people always will be. Our actions and words will help others form opinions of us as humans and Christians. 

    ⁹ Slaves are to be submissive to their masters in everything, and to be well-pleasing, not talking back ¹⁰ or stealing, but demonstrating utter faithfulness, so that they may adorn the teaching of God our Savior in everything.

I realize we no longer have slaves, however we have "jobs". If we are submissive to our managers and do our work without talking back, stealing and by being on time and dependable we are showing our true Christian spirit. 

    ¹¹ For the grace of God has appeared, with salvation ^[b] for all people, ¹² instructing us to deny godlessness and worldly lusts and to live in a sensible, righteous, and godly way in the present age,¹³ while we wait for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. ¹⁴ He gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to cleanse for Himself a special people, eager to do good works.

    ¹⁵ Say these things, and encourage and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard ^[c] you.

As modern day Christians we tend to find it difficult to live in a Godly way. We MUST remember that Christ came to die for us. He came to save us from all unrighteousness and evil. We have been given power over these things through the Blood of the Lamb. 

As a woman and a Gen X-er I can now more easily see what applying Titus 2 to my life really means. Living as an example to the young women around me and teaching my daughter the godly art of homemaking and mothering. Teaching the other young woman in my home how to be a godly wife, mother, sister, and friend. Also keeping my patients and cool when something is not done the way I think it should be.. In other words dying to my perfectionism. 

Putting God first in my life and keeping to His commandments and loving others before myself! 

Waking up to no more chaos...

I've been working on getting the house better organized because I'm not a born organized person. I have been letting a neighbor girl come in to help out as of late and she is a tremendous help but I'm not sure how I feel about her yet.
Hubby says It's all up to me because I'm the one who will deal with her the most, and I'm the one who is with NikiRhe the most. I can't stand leaving my daughter for longer than maybe a date night, and I have a mother who would keep her for free just to let us have some privacy every week.Well prayer is what I need. I know this young lady needs guidance and she needs love and affection.

So I'm attempting to help someone other than myself and tomorrow she may be entering a program that will help her grow into something much better. She is a good girl she just needs some serious christian therapy.

Taking time to spend quiet time with my daughter.

I love it! Having quiet moments with her is so important. We've been consistent in our daily bible study thus far and I'm determined to not let anything keep us from doing it everyday. 

She loves to play games and is very imaginative!

here is has created a hammock and is playing. She's so much fun!

A camera ham!

She wouldn't be still for anything! LOL 

Cuddling with "rie" Marie from Disney's  Aristocats

Snuggle time with momma. She loves this picture and every time she sees it she says" Momma, momma, ---Nini, nini...look momma...NINI!! lol She calls herself Nini because she can't say her K's yet. 

I just took this one and the first one today. She is such a sweetheart. Thank you Lord for knowing what we needed in a child! She is my heart!

Conquering the Day

Today we will set out to accomplish a few things that need to be taken care of. NikiRhe and I will start out with some bible study and breakfast then off to the market and bank. We will have an extra person with us today as I'm trying out a young lady who wants to be our nanny. I'm still not sure I really need a nanny per se, I mostly need someone who can come give me a hand with the housework so that I can try and get some work done.

She did a good job yesterday and she did help get the main things cleaned up yesterday. She is going to be tagging along with us today to see how I do things. I am going to have to have a chat with her about her attire around my house however. I prefer that she not dress like a slob and she has very large breasts and doesn't wear a bra..THAT drives me NUTS!!! Well anyhow...

I think I'm going to take some time for ME in our room and just rest and maybe read.

Have a Blessed day!
~G~

Adjusting ....

I'm learning to adjust to having someone in my house asking me questions. I mean I know she's new and she's here to help but sometimes I want you to take a little initiative to do things you see need to be done. Now I must give her props for picking up the living room and loading the dishwasher but something tells me the dishes aren't going to get clean because she loaded it improperly. Oh well I guess I'll adjust. I just need to make some lists and hope that she is a fast learner. She needs prayer for sure because she is not a Christian and I know I am taking a risk with having her here. But something told me she needs a Godly woman to influence her. So I'm going to pray for her every day and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me in dealing with her.

I wonder if I'm going to regret not hiring a professional but time will tell!

Working from home has it's advantages and disadvantages. I have a lot of clutter and it needs to be dealt with. However I am here with my daughter and that is my JOY. I have a lot of personal growth to work on. That means That I'm going to have to start by eliminating negativity in my life. NO MORE NEGATIVE NANCY'S OR NED'S ALLOWED IN MY HOME OR LIFE!

I've got to start getting ORGANIZED! I'm going to use the two weeks while my hubby is in FL to get the house organized! He is going to take our laptop with him even if he doesn't have a webcam and at least be able to see his girls.
When he comes home The house will be Organized and looking like it's ready for a business to grow as well as a family too. I'm going to have the new nanny/housekeeper help with this undertaking and get this house in tip top shape. ... Well it's off to make some lists so this house can get healthy!  

Welcoming New Life...

Today my sister Kristina had her 7th child. He was kind of small only 6lbs and 7oz and tall at 21 1/2 inches long. This will be the only child she will actually be raising as she walked away from 5 and allowed us to adopt the 6th.
I love the Idea that people want to have large families... but if you are going to be a mother who wants to be pregnant a lot and bring so much life into this every worsening world then at least be WOMAN enough to RAISE all your children. Don't walk out on your babies while they are in daycare and never come back. Those poor children are going to have years of therapy ahead to learn to forgive you for that kind of selfish treatment!

I am so very thankful for the fact that my sister decided that God was leading her to have us adopt her 6th child. I am grateful that my sister chose to allow US to be the parents to our beautiful daughter because I feel she was created to be mine.
I pray that growing up she doesn't feel cheated out of her siblings since none of them know about her and she will grow up with them as her cousins.

I will just leave it all in G*d's hands. I know he knows whats best and if He grows our family even BETTER!!! :o)

Worn out Welcome

When you are a guest in someone's house weather it is for a day or a month you should do your best to make your presence pleasant to  your host. Here are some things that you should do to make life less stressful for all involved.
1. ALWAYS pick up after yourself and your children
     Don't allow your children to trash someone's house and then expect them to clean up after you or them.
2. ALWAYS thank them for a meal weither prepared or purchased.
     Some host's go through a lot of trouble to make sure you are fed well. Showing your appreciation is paramount! It's RUDE to just assume that you are entitled to be fed.
3. NEVER assume that you should just cook for yourself in another woman's kitchen!
4. ALWAYS offer to do the dishes when someone has cooked for you.
    It makes the hostests burden lighter by helping her out. ESPECIALLY if you have been in the home a while!
5. ALWAYS ASK before using someone's computer! Don't sneak around after the owners are asleep and get online. It's RUDE!
6. Don't get a attitude when you are asked NOT to do/watch something the host doesn't want their child(ren) exposed to.

When guests outstay their welcome.....

I'm sooo tired of all the noise in my house. My mother and sister have become squatters and I'm afraid to tell them that I can't deal with them for much longer because I'm stressing. My mother laughs at everything but I despise living with my younger sister. She is rude and she is disrespectful. She doesn't do anything around the house really and I HATE having the tv on all the time. It seldom gets turned off and she watches the stupidest things. I am putting my foot down about the crap that is being watched around my child.

I really don't want them here my house is TOO SMALL and I'm trying to be Godly and loving but it's soooo hard when I don't feel like I'm respected all that much. My sister complains about food, she complains about all kinds of things and I'm sick of it!

Please Lord help me with this!

Three Generations for the Week...

My sister Mary is in the hospital trying to avoid early delivery of her baby. So my mom has been staying here with us and spending most of each day at the hospital with Mary and the nights here with us. Today Mom helped Niki and I clean the common areas of the house so I could concentrate on doing some work and not feel overwhelmed with home and work. It is always a blessing to have my mom around in that capacity. She is always willing to pitch in and help watch the baby or do the dishes or sweep the floor or walk the dogs. It is also a lovely time for NikiRhe to be getting to know her Grandma on a more personal level.

I used to go spend loads of time with my grandparents and I'd love to have my mom living here in town so that when Niki gets a bit older she can spend weekends with Grandma and Grandpa and not just my Dad and step-mom (aka: Popa and Memaw). I can foresee in the future that as the oldest child I will at some point need to help my mother in her golden years. I just want my daughter to KNOW her grandma the way I know mine.

I would not have a problem with having more than two generations in the house all the time. Infact as long as everyone knows about and can accept our belief in Biblical Marriage it would be wonderful!

One Long Weekend Ahead....

So tomorrow was supposed to be my sisters baby shower but she got admitted into the hospital because she is in danger of pre-term delivery. However my mother wants to have the shower at the hospital. UGH! I HAVE to do laundry and I have to go to my dads and help my step-mother with some things that they need help with.

I don't even know if I'm going to have time to go to the office in the morning. I hate that I've got so much going on that it takes away from me working but I love that I know I can work hard for the next few weeks to do what needs to be done to make some money. I know I can always take my daughter to work with me and while I appreciate that I am really needed this weekend to get some important family things done.

Rest In Peace Nana Juanita

My husbands step mother Juanita passed away last night. I was not expecting it to be this week and am very sad for my husbands family's loss. I am however extremely disappointed at the behaviour in which some of his cousins have displayed. Ernie's loss was as I said his step mother, so his mother's side did not know her. However they could at LEAST express some sympathy! I mean after all he expressed concern for an uncle "by marriage" who has been in and out of the hospital. I realize that people all deal with their own issues but as a family there should be some symbolance of support no matter what "side" the death or illness is on!

Now I have to figure out how I'm going to keep NikiRhe's Nana Juanita a memory for her. She is so little and I don't know how she will remember her Nana but I'm going to try to help her have some memory of her, even if it's just stories.

Living and Dying

In the midst of living and doing all we can to make our lives better we are dealing with death. Most know that my husband's step-mother has been battling stage 4 colon cancer. Her first round of chemo lasted almost 1 year and did not work. The doctors informed my father in law a few weeks ago that there were no more treatment options for her at this point. Her cancer has spread to almost all of her organs and she has accepted that she is going to die. Today we were informed that the doctor at her long term care facility told my father in law she may not live a week.

I'm trying to build my business and care for my family and figure out how to help my father in law deal with loosing his wife. My hubby is worried about his dad and I can totally understand that.

Well to top it all off.. we have our 18 year old niece flying in from New Hampshire on Tuesday the 26th. MY step-mom is having hip replacement surgery on the following Tuesday and I have meetings every Tuesday night at 7! I mean I CAN miss these meetings anytime i need too i am just very passionate about my career!

I will do what has to be done because that is who I am. I will lean on my heavenly Father to get us through all this so that we will be stronger as a family.

I Really Dislike Feeling Bad on a Saturday

This is usually the time when we hang out as a family. We spend time doing outdoor things. Today it is supposed to be 91 and I'm feeling bad! UGH! I'd love to take my little one to the park or to the company Easter Egg Hunt with my step mom. I need to get her an Easter basket but with feeling bad today I just don't know. The EE hunt is from 1-3pm and that the hottest part of the day usually.

Well the weather is supposed to be super nice today so I'm going to do all I can to feel better so I can take my baby girl outside.

Going Back to Work...

Today for the first time in about 18 months I'm going to a business meeting. I never wanted to be a career mom. I wanted to be a full time wife and mother and I have been since the day my princess was born. I am however a Licensed Life and Health insurance agent. I LOVED my job before I was laid off. I do want to be involved with a company who's goal is to help the average person plan for their future. I feel like I'm very good at what I do and I know how to talk to families about planning for the future and the future of their families.

So, this afternoon I'm going to a meeting with a company to see if they are something I'd like to be associated with. If not I will work on doing this all on my own from the comfort of my home. I love the idea of working form home because I can still be that full-time wife and mom as well as contribute to the family finances.

I'm excited and a little nervous all at the same time. :o) I'm ready to be helping my husband with the financial portion of our family and I want to build my daughters college fund. I'm also looking forward to building our savings back up.

Lord, be with me today, help me to ask the right questions, help me to, listen and learn and help me to be the best I can be. In Jesus name, Amen.

Today was so much fun....

I babysat for an old friend today and took Niki with me. She had so much fun playing with Sarah and Megan and Richard Lee and Luke! Those five together can sure keep a momma busy! Totally made me rethink the wanting to have 6 to 12 kids of my own! LOL 

I told Ernie today that 2 would do for me. I think Niki is going to need a younger sibling in due time. She loves having playmates and I can't imagine having an ONLY child. I guess that is because I have 5 younger brothers and sisters. Even though I'm 7 to 12 years older than all of my siblings I am glad I have them. 

Hopefully G*d will bless us with at least one more. 

Well after our full day I think I'm going to attempt to get some sleep. I still have to carry my sleeping Princess up the stairs and turn in myself. 

Good night and be blessed! 

~G~

Just a Small Blessing

We were able to get a new computer so that I can work and have storage space for client files.
NikiRhe likes it because it has a built in webcam and we can do little vid clips and she LOVES to see herself on the camera! LOL

Now if I can just get my CE's finished and get my Oklahoma license taken care of I can actually WORK!

Doing Some Spring Cleaning

So hubby and I have decided that it's time to get NikiRhe a toddler bed. We are having company this summer and she really can't be sleeping in the full size bed in her room all the time with company here. So she is getting a very cute princess bed and we are getting things set up so she can actually play in her room more.

WE are also going to be tossing out some clutter. We have a storage closet in the upstairs hall that is really full of things we probably don't even need anymore! LOL

*EDIT*

She is sleeping in her big girl bed now and almost every night stays until morning! YAY!
We spent this last weekend with my Grandparents in Bartlesville,OK. We really enjoyed the time and I know it is good for NikiRhe to spend that quality time with her great grandparents!

She is growing so fast and I got to see my beautiful Grandmother and my beautiful daughter sit together just like I used to sit with Grandma when I was little. It was rather bittersweet! I know she won't remember these things as she is still quite small but the fact that I got to see it touches my heart in so many ways.

I praise G*d every day for the Grandparents that I have! I hope that my little girl will have as many memories of them I as I have of my Granny Pair. Granny would have loved NikiRhe so much! I can't wait until I can see her again! It all makes me a little homesick for heaven!To think that G*d loved me so much that He blessed me with an amazing family!!

~~G~

Fifteen Months and Counting....

Our little one turned 15 months on the 4th and it is so hard to believe that it has been that long. She is such a bundle of energy and fun. Well most days anyway. I'll admit that being a first time mom at 32 came as something of a shock to me and my "well baby educated" system. I've been taking care of other peoples children all my life.

I helped my mom raise my siblings, I was a nanny, I was a foster mom and the change was dramatic!
I learned that I could survive on much less sleep than I ever had before. I also learned that I fell in love like never before the moment the nurse place this beautiful little thing in my arms.  I remember sitting there next to my sister who looked like she was freezing, telling her that I would forever be greatfull for the gift she was giving us. The nurse told me to stand up and I could see my baby being  born and I got to see as she was pulled from her warm cozy environment and thrust into a bright, cold world. I kissed my sisters head and was whisked away to the other side of the room where they wrapped her up and I got to hold her for the very first time right there in the OR.

I have been with her every day since then with the exception of one when I had to be out of town. I Love my daughter and God has shown me that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I would not change a moment of emotional upheaval, sleeplessness, cuddling, kisses, shared smiles, or hearing her beautiful little voice.

I am so very blessed to have been able to be at home with her since the moment she was born. I may not be very organized, or have a perfectly clean home but I have a happy, healthy family. God is blessing us and we are striving every day to teach our little one of the Love of Christ!

Be Blessed!
~G~

Help me reach my goal!Sponsor Me at March for Babies!

Change Me

This morning while having coffee with a friend in my dinning room NikiRhe came in looking for hugs and attention. I picked her up and sat her on my lap and I loved on her and we cuddled for  a moment when I noticed she stank... lol ...

I put her on the floor and told her to go tell daddy 'change me'... sure enough she walked strait to the living room and said rather loudly " CHANGE ME"!  It was the most precious thing I'd heard in a while! She was such a little blessing. This was even after she had gotten her first hair cut and was a little miffed at her mommy for making her sit still.

Well this got me to thinking. "Change me" What a phrase. I once heard that this is the most powerful two word prayer a Christian can pray. When we are constantly asking God to change people around us, our circumstances and other things. If we could just sincerely pray to God " Change ME" I believe we would see a WORLD of change.

I experimented with this a few years ago when I was feeling like things in my marriage needed to change. I felt we were stagnant and not moving forward or growing as a couple. So I prayed "Lord, Change ME". I found over the next two years that not only did He change my outlook, He changed my heart, my in-look and they way I view my spouse, myself and my fellow man.

God also allowed me to see that being a stay at home mom or even a work at home mom was the path in life I desired the most. So when our daughter was born I prayed for God to provide for me to be able to be home and to teach her to be a graceful homemaker and seeker of Christ.

To this day I have to remind myself at times that I need to ask for God to 'Change ME' because I can't control every aspect of life but I know the plans He has for me!

Be Blessed
~G~

The Beauty of Friendship

Feelings of Frustration

I love my beautiful daughter with all my heart. However I've been trying to study and get my continuing education hours completed so I'm a little behind on the housework. 


I LOVE that she loves me and wants to be with me at all times including when I'm in the bathroom, cleaning, or studying, or trying to load the dishwasher. What frustrates me is that she wants to close the dishwasher and she wants to play literally under my feet. I can't seem to make her understand that our very small kitchen doesn't have enough room for her to play safely in there while i'm trying to clean. 


I've read about some mom's putting their children in a play pen while they are cleaning and I've considered doing that, but I honestly don't want to hear her screaming the ENTIRE time I'm trying to do a task. I certainly can not put her in one and have her screaming while I'm trying to work or study. 


Today I have her watching her Your Baby Can Read dvd and have been afforded enough time to sit and compose this blog. I Refuse to allow the TV to be a baby sitter and I know that God will help me figure out what works best for baby and I.

Lord, please show me how to teach my daughter at this young age. Help me to not loose my temper with her or to raise my voice. Help me to be her mentor, and mother not her friend. Help me to show her your love and mercy and to provide her with solid teachings. In Jesus Name. Amen

Finally Have Some Quiet Time

I'm so thankful that hubby has taken charge of the baby tonight and allowed me some time to study...

Yes I'm a bit of a procrastinator! I did take a rather large break earlier to chat with my girl friends from Biblical Families and that was and always is a LARGE blessing! I am always encouraged, and recharged after talking to my friends who support me, lift me up and know that God is working toward great things in my life and marriage.

It's truly wonderful to have friends who- even though we are scattered across the country-truly care about what happens in your life, and are willing to lend a listening ear, shoulder to cry on and a cheerful word when you are blue. These women are loving, God fearing amazing women and I am so blessed to have found them!

I am really hopping that we are able to attend the retreat this July so that we can get to meet our friends and fellowship with them!

Well I guess I better finish my Ethics course and move on to Life and Health Insurance Principles.

~G~

My Prayer For This Day

Father in Heaven, I praise your Holy Name Lord Jesus. I thank you for your healing, protection and all the glory is for You. 


 I humbly ask that you continue to watch over my Grandmother and help to bring her blood sugar down to it's normal level.
 I pray you will protect Holy as she has stopped communicating once again because I caught her in a lie again. She needs you Lord and she needs to know that you will always be there for her even though she has chosen to defile herself, her relationships with her family and friends. 


Please be with Ernie as he continues to work and provide for his family. I ask you help him in his efforts to loose weight so that he is able to truly love himself and focus on You and leading our family as YOU see fit. 


I pray protection around our family and our home Lord, I ask that you will help me to focus on keeping my family healthy and happy in our home. I thank you for always providing for us everything we need. 


Be with our family and loved ones as they go about their day. Provide, guide and supply their needs, oh God. Thank for your Provision!


Bless us on Lord that, you would increase our territory so that we may continue Your work for Your names sake! 


In Jesus Precious and Holy Name I pray, 
Amen

Feelings

I'm feeling a little melancholy tonight... I miss having someone that I can just hang out with. I mean whatever happened to loyalty? When did self -centeredness become so prominant? When did people stop being loyal to the people they consider family?

why would you tell someone you love them and want you to always be a part of each others' lives then, go and throw it all away and just be daft?

This is how I see it.... IF YOU CAN'T BE ADULT ENOUGH TO KEEP YOUR WORD THEN I DON'T NEED YOU! I FORGIVE YOU BUT NOT BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT. I'M DOING IT BECAUSE I DESERVE IT!

OK... I'm done! LOL I guess I just needed to get that out.

'STAY OUT OF THE DOG FOOD!'

This is a phrase I have heard myself saying at least 15 times a day! My beautiful little girl is fascinated with the stinking dog food!!! 


She apparently like the kibble! I wish I could figure out why she likes it so much! UGH! I pick it up when I think of it then the dogs harass me because they can't reach their food. 


Oh well I guess this phase will pass sooner or later! lol 


Be Blessed, 


~G~

Waiting for the snow to melt!

NikiRhe and I are working on our 3rd week of being couped up in the house! Mommy is starting to go a little nuts with nothing to do other than be in this house. I have managed to work on my knitting and get some studying done on my Insurance continuing ed. I have spent time in the word and I am working on teaching my beautiful little girl new things. She really loves singing Jesus Loves Me and listening to other children's songs.

I Praise God for the fact that He has been showing me how to teach her so that she learns quickly and retains. He reveals to me each day how blessed we are to have this opportunity to teach, discipline, love and raise this amazing little miracle!

Making Some Changes....

Well I've done it! I ordered The Total Gym! I can't wait until it arrives. Over the last year Ernie and I have tried to change our eating habbits so that we can promote healthy living and eating in our home for our daughter. We don't want her to struggle with her weight her entire life like either of us has.

I'm looking forward to being able to get my energy back and having a longer life to spend with my beautiful baby girl!

I plan to keep our menu as healthy and home made as possible. I'm going to teach myself to bake bread and to help my baby girl learn to be a lovely, godly spirit!

Teaching to Follow Simple Directions Early

My beautiful little 14 month old princess is learning to follow simple directions. She can bring me things and she has started helping unload the dish washer and put away groceries! I was so very excited today when she came in the kitchen and took a box of cereal out of the grocery bag and offered it up to me. 


Watching my little girl realize that it's fun to help mommy is so bittersweet! I love the fact that I get to teach her to be a godly young lady as she grows. I get to show her how to serve others on love. I try to remember that each day with everything I do she is watching me. She is watching to see if I'm happy or complaining about the chores I do around the house. She watches to see what I'm doing if I'm blogging, reading my bible or praying. 


Ladies, we have a wonderful opportunity to spend loving moments teaching our beautiful daughters and sons, to be God reliant, servant hearted, Loving, compassionated people! 


I started super early with my little one by praying out-loud over her every night, we pray at our meals and hold hands ( now she won't eat without praying), I ask her politely to give me things she picks up and I say thank you. I've taught her to say thank you when given things and to say please when asking for things. 


Children are our blessing and we should treat them as such. However I do believe in discipline, in the truest form. The chance to teach her right from wrong and more. 


Our father God will show us all we need to guide our beautiful babies! 

God Is Our Healer....

As I sitting here studying I took notice of the fact that in the living-room my husband was listening to Michael W. Smith. I then began to listen to what was going on, on the program he is watching and realized that Smitty was talking about spiritual healing.

My wonderful husband has been sitting there allowing the healing spirit of God to wash over him and as he held our daughter and listening to the music and testimonies of these wonderful Christians on TBN.
He is my love. I am so blessed and thankful that God healed me of my hurt from an abusive childhood so that I could fully appreciate my husband and learn to be the wife God intended me to be .

As Smitty sang Healing Rain I feel the Spirit fill our home:

Healing Rain is falling down
Healing Rain is falling down,
I am not afraid
I am not afraid

As he goes on to tell us how amazing Jesus he shares a beautiful song;

 I want to sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand
lay back against you and breath and feel your heart beat
this love is so deep it's more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
it's overwhelming

Such beautiful lyrics! My heart sings with joy and the  peace of my Saviour!

Oh come let us adore Him
Oh come let us adore Him
Oh come let us adore Him
Christ the Lord!

I praise you Father God for the many Blessings you have given my family!

Be Blessed!
~G~

Snowed In Day 3

Well last night NikiRhe had her first sleep-over! She was so cute because she acted so much like an older girl would. She wanted to stay up late and giggle and chatter and play! Every time I tried to convince her it was time to go to bed she would ask for something to eat! LOL

The girls finally went to be about 1:15 am and I couldn't go to sleep! GO FIGURE! It was really fun to watch and the girls both enjoyed themselves even though Miracle is 5.

The good Lord has blessed us with some really great neighbors and I am so thankful! Ernie had to drive the Milk truck home on Monday because the weather was so bad that he could not finish his route. So we have been unable to venture out to the grocery store. So after being stuck for day and a half. Ernie and our neighbors started digging the milk truck out and then his boss came to help make sure he could get out. So they (I was taking care of the kids) got everyone dug out and I was able to ride to the store with the neighbors.

This morning I was thrilled to find that my beautiful little girl really is learning to help around the house! She helped unload the dish washer! She would hand me the flatware one piece at a time and say thank you each time! It was sooo cute! :o) I love my future homemaker! She is going to have such a wonderful spirit! I praise God for giving me the desire and the ability to be at home with her to train her up in the ways of the Lord!

Be Blessed!
~G~

Snowed IN!!!

I am officially sick of being stuck in the house after just 24 hours. This is largely due to the fact that I've already been in the house for over a week because we have been sick. Now we are stranded at home with no transportation and I'm going to have to start baking soon.. LOL

I don't mind except I get tired of spending all my time in the kitchen in silence while hubby and baby watch tv or  dvd's in the living room. I guess I'm going to work on my CE's today and try to knock them out soooo I should probably get cracking.

Hubby's work truck is stuck in our parking lot here and our car is down town which is experiencing extremely difficult travel. The news is telling us to stay put unless 100% necessary. Hubby's boss is supposed to be sending a tow truck to get his truck out so I don't know what's going to happen with that.

Well I need to see if baby wants a nap then get busy working on some dinner plans, and CE's..

Be Blessed,
~G~

This is some crazy weather!

I was sooo very nice outside on Saturday and even yesterday was not too bad. But now we are expecting a winter storm that is expected to bring blizzard like conditions to Oklahoma once again! Whats up with that?!?


I need to make a trip to the grocery store to stock back up on the essentials. I don't mind making the trip I just don't have time to really do it today while the baby is up. Not only that I know the people here are in a panic and most likely rushing the stores for "emergency" supplies. I try to keep our freezer stocked so that we don't have to worry about stock piling at the last minute.


So on Monday's Papa John's pizza has "Monday Mania" where you can get any large specialty pizza for $8.99. We decided to try a BBQ Chicken Bacon pizza and Niki ate an entire piece and started on a second. I think maybe her internal clock system is telling her to stock up for the winter storm! 


One of my friends coined the phrase SNOWMAGEDDON IS COMING! SNOMAGEDDON IS COMING!  I certainly pray that it is not something that keeps us snowed in for days like last year. Because I need to get to appointments. 


Oh well.. We just pray for the safety of those who have no choice but to get out and travel in the crazy nasty weather. 


Be blessed


~G~

Almost an entire month into the new year....

I'm still working on getting my continuing education courses completed. It's kind of difficult getting it completed with a toddler roaming around and needing to keep an eye on her.
That's okay. God gave me that little miracle for a reason! I'm going to enjoy each and every minute with her.
I'm determined to do all I can to bless my family by contributing via my insurance sales and working as a homemaker to keep things together here.

I am so excited to be working from home so that I still have the chance to home school my daughter, and be at home to raise her and teach her that there is nothing wrong with homemaking. I want her to have a godly beauty, from the inside out. I want her to desire to serve God and her family and to honor God by having a servants heart.

Lord, help me to show my daughters by my actions that being a servant is not degrading to women or men. Father, give me the knowledge and wisdom I need to convey your love to them as each one finds her way in the world. Help me with the oldest to have a firm but loving and patient hand. Open her heart to guidance, and give her a willingness and heart to want to learn to be the servant YOU want her to be.
Thank you Lord for you blessings. In Jesus name, Amen.

1/29/2011

Well I'm not feeling AS bad but I'm not 100%.  Niki has been moody and is already in bed for the night!

Having a blast getting to know my friend better and better each day! We are going to have so much fun this summer when we get together. I just can't wait!
I'm working hard to make sure we have the finances to get to travel so we can all meet up in TN for the retreat and OMG we are gonna have sooo much fun!

kiUGH I'm feeling yucky

NikiRhe and I are both sick and hubby is trying to catch our ickiness. Niki has RSV which sucks, I think I just have a head cold but these things make me feel so drained that it is hard to get much done around the house.

I really wish I had someone here to help out some but I'm glad we no longer have drama! I mean there was not much drama but she obviously didn't want to be here because she is now claiming that taking care of her brother was not the only reason. Oh WELL... I don't care anymore.

We are better off and will be happy with the direction that God leads us in...

Living in love and making changes...

I Love my husband, my children and my family and friends! We are looking forward to making some positive changes in our lives. Ernie and I are working on loosing weight to make our lives better. We have an amazing baby girl to raise and be here for many more years for.

I'm excited to be getting to know some of my friends even more! I love our Tuesday night chats with the girls!!!
We are learning to follow God's will and be obedient to His call on our life and the direction it will be taking in the future. We are excited to be getting our inusrance business up and running... It's been a long time coming and I'm praying that God will bless it.

God is so very amazing and I'm so glad that we are trying our hardest to listen to his voice!

Being Called to Adoption

Several years ago I was told that I most likely would never conceive. Ernie and I after much prayer and talking decided that we felt adoption was what God had planned for us.
We started the process and discovered it was a long hard road!

Now anyone who has read my blog will know that we have struggled and walked a very very long road to get to where we are.
We were not able to legally adopt our oldest, (yet she is still our daughter), and The baby was not a foster adopt but she is still an adopted child.

None the less I believe that God calls those of us who choose to adopt. I honestly believe that He created mothers like myself who can not bare children of their own with hearts big and loving enough to love a child not created in their womb! There are also those mothers that CAN give birth yet are given hearts to adopt children and become a mother to those blessed little one's who's mothers can not parent them.

If you are a mom who has chosen this path, whether you feel called to it or it was just something you thought was an option for you I want to say thank you. You have been given an especially hard task. Yes dad's I KNOW and acknowledge that it's not a walk in the park for you either.. However us mom's have it just a bit harder. We have to bring this strange child into our home, feed it , clothe it, care for it and learn to love it. For some the Love comes instantly and yet for other mom's it's harder to love this little-or big- person who has come to be our child. We may have kids with shady pasts' and that can make them harder to love. Never the less as mother's we are called to love our families and take care of them because God made us that way.

I am posting today because of a pressing matter that has been on my heart. Families that bring children into their homes to adopt them and then for whatever reason send them back. Now I know that if an adoptive child is putting other family members in harms way that something must be done. But is it truly right to disrupt and adoption because of it. Can't you prove to that child that you love them by getting them the help they need and making good on your commitment to adopt them?
After all are these children not in our homes calling us mom and dad?
Have these children not been through enough in their young lives that to loose multiple sets of parents make them feel like they are the ones who are bad? It's not their fault that they were place in foster care. In fact 98% of children in Foster care are there because of some sort of neglect or abuse.

We have to take a stand for the children!!! If you are an adoptive or foster parent MAKE GOOD ON YOUR COMMITMENT! HELP THESE KIDS FIND FOREVER FAMILIES AND LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY!!!

AS PARENTS ARE WE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOVE ALL OUR CHILDREN UNCONDITIONALLY?!?!?!?

IF YOU HAD GIVEN BIRTH TO A CHILD THAT WAS VIOLENT OR HAD A MENTAL CHALLENGE WOULD YOU JUST TOSS HIM/HER AWAY?

PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS!!!

RANT

I don't understand why people think that they have to buy their kids every new games system on the market! What the Hell?! I mean HOW MANY GAMES CAN A KID PLAY AT ONCE???!!!

Give me a freaking break! Also why do these people make it a point to talk about all the amazingly expensive things they do for their kids to their friends? Do you honestly think you're impressing me?!? PLEASE!

I was told that my child would feel left out because we don't own a single game system AT ALL!!! That's right folks.. my daughter will NOT have a Nintendo DS, XBOX, XBOX360, Wii, PSP, PS2, PS3, XBOX Knect, or even a super Nintendo for that matter! I mean look at all the kids out there that have ADD and ADHD and then all the kids being diagnosed with Bi-Polar it has nothing to do with TV it those stupid video games!!! Yes I realize that not all Kids have those issues STRICTLY from video games but it DOESN'T HELP MATTERS ANY!

UGH!!!

okay I feel better now! lol