Learning From Our Failures

On the 3rd of this month my husband and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary. We didn't do anything ostentatious, just dinner out the weekend before and a quiet dinner at home with our daughter the day of because it was in the middle of the work week. We are usually pretty low key on "non-milestone" years. So that means about once every 5 years we celebrate with a party of some sort.  

Over the years I have often felt like I was not good enough to deserve the life I have been blessed with. I have felt inadequate, lazy, sloppy and down right depressed about how I behaved as a wife and mother.  I have struggled with depression since I was a teen and have had a long road sometimes and over the years have learned how to "pull myself up by the boot straps" and move forward. 

I have utilized anti depressants in the past (before our daughter was born) and since she has been in my life I have struggled tremendously.  What makes it even worse it that I feel bad for being depressed! I feel like I should be a better mommy, be more fun and more playful. You see I was 32 when she was born. I've always been over-weight and I keep saying I'm going to loose the weight to be a better more fun mommy but I keep going back to the same old patterns. 

Well today at church our pastor preached on how those patterns when we keep doing the change from being a bad habit to being a way of life! How God wants to sow His seeds in fertile soil so we can serve Him and live a blessed life but that those habits that become a way of life are separating us from God so that He cannot plant seeds. You see God won't plant seeds in ground that is not prepared. Pastor talked about how we need to prepare ourselves to receive the seeds God wants to plant so that we might bear fruit. 

God is committed to the fruitfulness of our futures. He is asking if you would commit to His commitment. 

John 15:4 says " Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and  you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me." 

John 15:8 " When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to the Father." 

John 15:16 "You didn't choose me, I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for using my name."  (emphasis mine) 

So you see the habits we have are sin and we all know that sin separates us from God. Pastor says we should Identify the "thorns" in our life. Boy that hit me right in the heart! My refusal to take care of my home and husband over the years has been me being disobedient to God. The bible says that God created me to be his Helpmeet. He works hard to provide for his family and I am supposed to be diligent here at home providing a haven for him. Teaching our child, making sure my family has food and clothing and are well respected. I am meant to HONOR ( aka RESPECT) my husband. I made that vow! 

The word goes on to say 

"Plow up the hard ground of your hearts! Do not waste your good seed among thorns." Jeremiah 4:3

Our prayer should be:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offend you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24

We should let the Holy Spirit filter us completely. I sat in church with tears streaming as I hear the spirit speaking to me. 'You have strayed daughter, you don't spend time in My word anymore, You only come to church, but you forget to hear with you whole heart.' I was truly and fully chastised. 

As I prayed and cried and repented of my obvious sin. I begged God to give me a renewed vigor and hunger for His word and for teaching my daughter how to live according to Proverbs 31. I had wanted that for us since before she was born. I always wanted to teach my daughters how God intended us to live. 

My 7 year old struggles to accomplish any one task because I have allowed her to become slothful, like me. So tonight after my husband went to work (he's on nights for a few weeks). I sat down with my bible and my little princess and I apologized to her for neglecting to teach her what I knew in my heart God had instructed ME to teach her. I showed the the biblical characteristics of a wife and mother. I explained to her that this week we are going to focus on a different one each day and possibly extend it to one week on each Character trait. 

I prayed and asked to God to forgive me and to guide my steps as I step up to the challenge of working through the pain ( because with significant change comes pain {mental and/or physical}) . 

Starting tomorrow I'm getting dressed to my tennis shoes, and taking my daughter and dog for a nice long walk. We are going to get active every morning and then crack the books starting with bible study. So I'm asking for any and all of my mommy friends to help me stay accountable! 

We are going to have a clean house daily, a clean kitchen before bed each night and fight the war on clutter. I have a week planned including the evening meal! 

Well If you have made it this far thank you. I knew earlier I was going to make this post and I was asking God what to say and I felt that I needed to just share the ugly truth. 

I would love you feedback, especially if you have tips on how to stay motivated to keep your home tidy! 

I want to be organized even though I was not born that way! 

Be Blessed! 

G...

Praying For Our Churches

Sometimes when we are striving to be obedient and living according to what we know is right, that is when satan attacks us the most.

Recently my family has been working hard to serve our Lord and do His work; however satan has been hitting us from all sides. He has dealt financial blows, emotional struggles, and physical illness.

Our church has even come under attack from the enemy! We've got him attacking families in our church left and right, causing dissention and strife. We are going to have to pray against him hard and heavy if we want to win this battle.

The Word says in Romans 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.


We will have to stand against the wiles of the devil, like it says in Ephesians 6:10-17

 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 15and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 16in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.


Something I have learned over the years about church is that there are always going to be people in every church that will try to destroy it. Satan uses people to stir up trouble, they spread gossip and they make things hard for others.

I want to teach my Sunday School Class how to pray! I want to guide these amazing little people into a passion for Christ that never fades! As part of my ministry  I pray that they will all Learn that God's gift of Salvation is something relevant and meaningful in their lives and that they will be Soul winners for Christ!

I want to challenge you to pray for your church. Pray for the Body of Christ in general that we will all be emboldened to share the word of God with others in such a way that we are saying God Is NOT Dead, he is surely alive!!

May God Bless you and keep you!
Mrs. G
 

Learning the true meaning of Titus 2

 ¹ But you must speak what is consistent with sound teaching. ² Older men are to be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. ³ In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. [They are] to teach what is good, ⁴ so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be sensible, pure, good homemakers, and submissive to their husbands, so that God's message will not be slandered.


As I read this passage I first thought, "Wow! How much responsibility that is to be responsible to the young women in my life to be able to teach them how to be good at all those things." Then it dawned on me. If I am living this life, being Biblically submissive to my husband, being a good homemaker and loving my husband and children then it should not be so hard. 

    ⁶ Likewise, encourage the young men to be sensible ⁷ about everything. Set an example of good works yourself, with integrity and dignity ^[a] in your teaching. ⁸ Your message is to be sound beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be ashamed, having nothing bad to say about us.

I was always told growing up that I should be careful of the friends I choose and the activities I participate in because it reflected back to my grandparents (they were raising me). I never understood this until we had teenagers in our home. Now I truly understand that regardless of what is instructed about being judgmental people always will be. Our actions and words will help others form opinions of us as humans and Christians. 

    ⁹ Slaves are to be submissive to their masters in everything, and to be well-pleasing, not talking back ¹⁰ or stealing, but demonstrating utter faithfulness, so that they may adorn the teaching of God our Savior in everything.

I realize we no longer have slaves, however we have "jobs". If we are submissive to our managers and do our work without talking back, stealing and by being on time and dependable we are showing our true Christian spirit. 

    ¹¹ For the grace of God has appeared, with salvation ^[b] for all people, ¹² instructing us to deny godlessness and worldly lusts and to live in a sensible, righteous, and godly way in the present age,¹³ while we wait for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. ¹⁴ He gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to cleanse for Himself a special people, eager to do good works.

    ¹⁵ Say these things, and encourage and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard ^[c] you.

As modern day Christians we tend to find it difficult to live in a Godly way. We MUST remember that Christ came to die for us. He came to save us from all unrighteousness and evil. We have been given power over these things through the Blood of the Lamb. 

As a woman and a Gen X-er I can now more easily see what applying Titus 2 to my life really means. Living as an example to the young women around me and teaching my daughter the godly art of homemaking and mothering. Teaching the other young woman in my home how to be a godly wife, mother, sister, and friend. Also keeping my patients and cool when something is not done the way I think it should be.. In other words dying to my perfectionism. 

Putting God first in my life and keeping to His commandments and loving others before myself!