Learning From Our Failures

On the 3rd of this month my husband and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary. We didn't do anything ostentatious, just dinner out the weekend before and a quiet dinner at home with our daughter the day of because it was in the middle of the work week. We are usually pretty low key on "non-milestone" years. So that means about once every 5 years we celebrate with a party of some sort.  

Over the years I have often felt like I was not good enough to deserve the life I have been blessed with. I have felt inadequate, lazy, sloppy and down right depressed about how I behaved as a wife and mother.  I have struggled with depression since I was a teen and have had a long road sometimes and over the years have learned how to "pull myself up by the boot straps" and move forward. 

I have utilized anti depressants in the past (before our daughter was born) and since she has been in my life I have struggled tremendously.  What makes it even worse it that I feel bad for being depressed! I feel like I should be a better mommy, be more fun and more playful. You see I was 32 when she was born. I've always been over-weight and I keep saying I'm going to loose the weight to be a better more fun mommy but I keep going back to the same old patterns. 

Well today at church our pastor preached on how those patterns when we keep doing the change from being a bad habit to being a way of life! How God wants to sow His seeds in fertile soil so we can serve Him and live a blessed life but that those habits that become a way of life are separating us from God so that He cannot plant seeds. You see God won't plant seeds in ground that is not prepared. Pastor talked about how we need to prepare ourselves to receive the seeds God wants to plant so that we might bear fruit. 

God is committed to the fruitfulness of our futures. He is asking if you would commit to His commitment. 

John 15:4 says " Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and  you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me." 

John 15:8 " When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to the Father." 

John 15:16 "You didn't choose me, I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for using my name."  (emphasis mine) 

So you see the habits we have are sin and we all know that sin separates us from God. Pastor says we should Identify the "thorns" in our life. Boy that hit me right in the heart! My refusal to take care of my home and husband over the years has been me being disobedient to God. The bible says that God created me to be his Helpmeet. He works hard to provide for his family and I am supposed to be diligent here at home providing a haven for him. Teaching our child, making sure my family has food and clothing and are well respected. I am meant to HONOR ( aka RESPECT) my husband. I made that vow! 

The word goes on to say 

"Plow up the hard ground of your hearts! Do not waste your good seed among thorns." Jeremiah 4:3

Our prayer should be:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offend you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24

We should let the Holy Spirit filter us completely. I sat in church with tears streaming as I hear the spirit speaking to me. 'You have strayed daughter, you don't spend time in My word anymore, You only come to church, but you forget to hear with you whole heart.' I was truly and fully chastised. 

As I prayed and cried and repented of my obvious sin. I begged God to give me a renewed vigor and hunger for His word and for teaching my daughter how to live according to Proverbs 31. I had wanted that for us since before she was born. I always wanted to teach my daughters how God intended us to live. 

My 7 year old struggles to accomplish any one task because I have allowed her to become slothful, like me. So tonight after my husband went to work (he's on nights for a few weeks). I sat down with my bible and my little princess and I apologized to her for neglecting to teach her what I knew in my heart God had instructed ME to teach her. I showed the the biblical characteristics of a wife and mother. I explained to her that this week we are going to focus on a different one each day and possibly extend it to one week on each Character trait. 

I prayed and asked to God to forgive me and to guide my steps as I step up to the challenge of working through the pain ( because with significant change comes pain {mental and/or physical}) . 

Starting tomorrow I'm getting dressed to my tennis shoes, and taking my daughter and dog for a nice long walk. We are going to get active every morning and then crack the books starting with bible study. So I'm asking for any and all of my mommy friends to help me stay accountable! 

We are going to have a clean house daily, a clean kitchen before bed each night and fight the war on clutter. I have a week planned including the evening meal! 

Well If you have made it this far thank you. I knew earlier I was going to make this post and I was asking God what to say and I felt that I needed to just share the ugly truth. 

I would love you feedback, especially if you have tips on how to stay motivated to keep your home tidy! 

I want to be organized even though I was not born that way! 

Be Blessed! 

G...

We May Be Heading in a New Direction!

We applied to be the Directors and Chaplains for the Lake Texoma Baptist Resort Ministry!
We are super excited to be getting the opportunity just to apply and interview for the position.

We have been praying that God would show us favor and allow us to have this position as we feel we could really bless others and serve in a whole new capacity! We are hoping to be blessed as well with this wonderful opportunity!

We will be notified sometime next week of the boards decision on who they will place at The Helm.

Another awesome chance has presented itself, Young Living Essential Oils!!! I received my started kit yesterday! I am so excited to be changing our family's health through using EO's!

I have already noticed a marked difference! So there will be a lot of thing happening with both of theses tings!  

Today is our Homeschool Associations First Annual Easter Egg Hunt!
Niki and I are looking forward to that!

Well I've got a ton to do/
catch ya on the flip side!


G

Stepping Out In Faith!

Recently my husband and I have been praying about a ministry position that has been brought to our attention. We will be able to live at the lake year round and it will take a lot of hard work but I believe we can do this!

I am really excited to get a chance to serve God in any capacity He will allow us to. I always felt called to be a missionary and I never followed God like I should have. Maybe this will be that chance I've always needed to serve Him in a greater capacity.

I pray this will be a life changing opportunity for our family and give my darling husband the chance to serve God he needs and deserves. My husband has always wanted to serve in a more hands on way and I am praying God will guide us and give us this chance to be apart of the Resort Ministry!

We will still be able to homeschool and we will be able to work out there full time as chaplains.



We covet your prayers fellow believers!


From our Clan to yours!

Mrs. G

Praying For Our Churches

Sometimes when we are striving to be obedient and living according to what we know is right, that is when satan attacks us the most.

Recently my family has been working hard to serve our Lord and do His work; however satan has been hitting us from all sides. He has dealt financial blows, emotional struggles, and physical illness.

Our church has even come under attack from the enemy! We've got him attacking families in our church left and right, causing dissention and strife. We are going to have to pray against him hard and heavy if we want to win this battle.

The Word says in Romans 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.


We will have to stand against the wiles of the devil, like it says in Ephesians 6:10-17

 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 15and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 16in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.


Something I have learned over the years about church is that there are always going to be people in every church that will try to destroy it. Satan uses people to stir up trouble, they spread gossip and they make things hard for others.

I want to teach my Sunday School Class how to pray! I want to guide these amazing little people into a passion for Christ that never fades! As part of my ministry  I pray that they will all Learn that God's gift of Salvation is something relevant and meaningful in their lives and that they will be Soul winners for Christ!

I want to challenge you to pray for your church. Pray for the Body of Christ in general that we will all be emboldened to share the word of God with others in such a way that we are saying God Is NOT Dead, he is surely alive!!

May God Bless you and keep you!
Mrs. G
 

Happy New Year!

2014 is gone and 2015 has begun. As I look back a lot of changes happened in 2014. We moved from Tulsa, Ok. (in Northeastern OK) to Durant, Ok (in Southeastern,OK). I grew up just 20 some miles from here and lived here about 20 years ago. Things have changed and there are new things here that were not when I was growing up but it is still small town USA. I had really enjoyed the anonymity of the city. Not everyone knew someone in my family. I have a LOT of family in this area and Hubby has some in North Texas.
However Moving here has created less stress in my home. My husband is home to spend time with our daughter and he is less stressed so that makes life easier for sure.

We are looking into buying a home and trading in our van for a newer car. (would be such a blessing!!!) We are praying God will bless us with both of these this year!

I pray many blessings on each and every family that reads our blog. I have not been blogging as much as I would like and I hope that will get to change this year and as we get settled into a home of our own.

Blessings and love to you all,
The Graham Clan

Favor

Galatians 6:9-10
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

I have been reading the book The Force of Favor by Dr. Dave Martin
This is a small excerpt...
" You have the ability to sow favor into the lives of others just as God has sown favor into your life, and you have the right to expect favor to come back into your life as the appropriate harvest for the favor you have sown.
Favor therefore, is reciprocal. It is part of the ongoing cycle of spiritual life. "

Do we make it a routine part of our lives to sow favor into to those around us? Are we kind? Do we show mercy? Are we giving to our church or ministries who need sown into?

Recently my husband and I took a 90 day challenge to tithe faithfully to secure God's favor. We know that the word of God says " I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you" Leviticus 26:9.
We know that obedience to God's commands will bring favor and blessing!

We know that through obedience and sowing the proper seed we can grow in favor and stature with God and Man as seen in 1 Samuel 2:26 " And the boy Samuel continued to grow in stature and in favor with the Lord and with men."
There are times when what we simply need to do is be humble. Take for example the story of Manasseh in 2Chronicles 33. He did not listen to the Lord and God destroyed him. However we see in verse 12  " In his distress he sought the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. 13 And when he prayed to him, the Lord was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseah knew that the Lord is God."

Sometime things need to happen in our lives to show us that the "Lord is God". We often lose favor before we realize that we need it or desire it. Sometimes we are so stuck in our own disobedience that we can't see that if we will just trust in God's word and in His will we can walk in the favor and admonition of the Lord!
The Psalmist wrote in Psalm 90:17 " May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us- yes, establish the work of our hands."

So let us strive to sow favor so that we might reap what we sow. Good for good, blessing for blessing!

~The Rest of My Life, Will Be the BEST of My Life!~
                            ~*G*~

Are We Ever Really Sure?

Is anyone every really sure what they want in life? I mean for me I've always wanted to be a wife and mother. Now that I am exactly that I feel like I'm missing a close relationship in my life...I've got my salvation and my relationship with my Lord but I'm not really close with my sisters. I miss that. I know people who are so very close to their sister, they hang out, they talk on the phone, their kids play together on a regular basis. I'm 7 and 10 years older than my three sisters. I'm physically not close to 2 of them and the one who is close well we have nothing in common.

I know that God can give a "sister" relationship with a woman who is not related to me and I used to feel that I had that, but I no longer have two of those relationships because I choose to follow the calling of God in my life. So tonight my hearts prayer is that God will send some beautiful hearted women into my life to be my sisters. I'd like even just ONE to be the sister of my heart. That one who will come help with my kids, wash my dishes or fix dinner for my family if I'm sick. The one whom I can confide in and trust with my hearts desires, my prayers, and my husband.
I have two friends whom I do trust like that but unfortunately they can't be close physically in those times, but I love them just the same.

Maybe what I truly do desire is a sister wife. Someone to share the daily chores, the school lessons, the supper dishes and the family trips with. Someone who can be in my life everyday that fits into each moment of life like a glove.
Lord  you know my heart! Hear my prayer!
~G~