Today

Today I visited a site that really touched my heart...... it was called Emty Arms... It told of one couples journey through the life of infertility. I cried as I watched the presentation. It was very moving.

I have been trying to keep an adoption journal and well from looking at my blog you can tell i'm a lousy journaler! In 2003 when we first started the adoption process I journaled all the time. I wrote letters to my child(ren) and I kept it put away because I really don't want anyone reading it. I feel like the only person who will really understand it is me. I mean It is my heart and soul on paper. I want to be able to someday allow my children to read it and some day I pray that they won't think i was crazy when i did write it. There were day's when I was writing that I look back on now and feel like maybe deep down i was writing to keep from going crazy.
Now I am still on the verge of a major breakdown someday's but not as much ... I think I had resolved myself to the fact that I was never going to be a mother and that because we kept running against obstacles that God was telling us we were going in the wrong way... I still am not sure that we are completely going the right way but I have been praying daily that God will allow it to continue if this is his will...
OKAY THIS IS SO COOL!!!!!!!
I JUST CALLED THE PLACE WHERE ERNIE GOT HIS PHYSICAL FOR WORK .... THEY ARE ONLY GOING TO CHARGE $33.00 FOR A PHYSICAL FOR ME! THAT IS AN ANSWER TO PRAYER!

Well I have to go the oldest little girl I keep is having really bad muscle spasms in her leg and I need to find something to take care of it.