It is still sometimes odd for me to tell people that I'm the parent of an 18 year old. I mean after all I'll only be 28 in November.
But after helping my single mother raise 3 siblings all my life and then, having those siblings live with me and hubby after marriage, we feel almost seasoned. We have helped with more than our share of other people's children. Elise has been in our family for 2 years now and we are in every sense of the word her parents. We provide for her, we love her and we want what is best for her.
There are still people who look at me as though I am stupid when they ask for my advise about kids and I tell them... They look at me like: " what do you know you have never had kids of your OWN"! That makes me so mad!
I may not be the world foremost authority on child rearing but I do know when a child is sick, or needs medical attention, I also know when a child needs to spend more time with their mother.
The thing I struggle with is this: allowing my 18 year old to grow up with no help. She has been through so much pain and heartache and it kills me to think that she could be hurt. I just want to guide her and I know that she probably thinks "leave me alone and let me live my own life."
I don't want to be her best friend and I don't want her to think that she can't tell me things because she will never live up to my expectations. I don't ever want her to feel that way but sometimes I think that maybe I am trying to hard.
I don't know........ Any advise? Any words of wisdom out there?
I mean I remember what it was like being that age and I was a BAD teenager! I really don't want to see her mess up her future by making really stupid decisions. I know I can't make all her choices for her but sometimes I wish I could!
Well any way.... Keep praying! God Bless and Good night.
1 comment:
I feel your pain! I have helped rear my stepson who is now 19 since he was 14, when he came to live with us. We have been through so much pain dealing with his use of drugs, sex, perpetual lying, and now his choice of a bisexual and drug infused lifestyle involving who knows what. We finally had to release him to his own devices since our numerous attempts to help him always ended up with his dropping out of school, quitting his job, or getting arrested. He cannot help himself as long as we always provide a safety net for him. Nothing has been more painful than having to do this. We still love him dearly and pray for him daily. I feel like if we had gotten him sooner (from his well-intentioned yet over-indulging mom) we could have done more. Once he came to us, he was already headed down the wrong path. My husband and I have made mistakes, but he has to learn to accept responsibility for his behavior.
Geez, I guess I should've just posted all this instead of leaving this loooooong comment. Just wanted you to know that I understand your struggles, but it sounds like you are doing a great job. As parents, it is not our job to prepare the road for the child, but to prepare the child for the road. We can't change this world, but we can help our children to live in it the best they can.
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